13 Must-Know Facts About Your Clitoris For Better Sex
I haven’t even met you, but I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that your clitoris is an amazing and fascinating piece of biological machinery — because all clitorises (or clitorii, as I like to call them) are amazing. It’s that magical body part that all sex partners should take the time to figure out, because when you do, it’s well worth the homework.
After all, “the clitoris is the only human organ whose sole function is pleasure,” sexologist and relationship expert Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus tells SheKnows. It is purely there to make you feel good, and giving it the attention it deserves is truly the least you (and your partners) can do.
SheKnows spoke with Dr. Gunsaullus and relationship coach and sex educator Dawn Serra to understand the ins and outs of clitoral pleasure — and what they shared might just surprise you. Let’s start with the fact that your actually clitoris encompasses way more than just the external nub you see — “that is literally only the tip of our pleasure iceberg,” Dr. Gunsaullus notes. What other clitoral myths and misconceptions do we need to debunk, and what else should you know about these incredible organ for orgasms? Keep reading to find out, because knowledge equals power (and better sex).
1. Your clitoris is a lot larger than you think.
Don’t let the external appearance of the clitoris fool you — it’s actually much larger and more complicated than you’d think. “The clitoris is a complex structure with both external and internal components,” Dr. Gunsaullus explains, which is why she actually refers to it as the “clitoral complex.” Turns out, “the full clitoral complex extends deep into the body,” she says, “including ‘legs’ called crura as well as erectile tissue that surround the vaginal canal.”
Or, as Serra puts it, “your clitoris is a massive network of swollen, tingly pleasure.” She explained that some sex educators call the clitoris a four-legged animal, because that’s exactly what the network of clitoral structures look like within your pelvic floor.
2. The clitoris can get an erection
Even though the external section of the clitoris is often tucked away from view, it actually grows erect when a woman is aroused. “It’s made of erectile tissue, and it engorges with blood like a penis,” Serra explains.
3. It’s more sensitive than we first thought.
Your clitoris contains over 10,000 nerve endings (yes, really). As Dr. Gunsaullus points out, that’s actually more than the 8,000 we originally thought it had — and it’s also more than any other part of the body. “It’s incredibly sensitive,” she emphasizes. “Stimulating the clitoris in ways that match an individual’s unique preferences is key to sexual pleasure and orgasm for most people with vulvas.”
4. It’s normal for it to look different
There’s no such thing as a “normal” clitoris, because all women are shaped differently. As Serra explains, some are large, others are small, and they can be protruding or hidden, but they all do the same job. However, it has been said that the distance from vagina to clitoris can impact your ability to orgasm (see number seven).
5. Your clitoris doesn’t like dryness
“Dry fingers and [sex] toys on a clitoris don’t usually feel good,” says Serra. If you and your partner want a happy clitoris and there isn’t enough natural fluid to make a wet environment, always use lube.
6. It’s Greek
Have you ever wondered where the word “clitoris” came from? According to Serra, the root of the word is the Greek word for “key.” As in, the key to a woman’s orgasm.
7. Your clitoris can orgasm more intensely than a penis
“Both the penis and clitoris are full of incredibly sensitive nerve endings,” says Serra. “However, the nerve endings in the penis are spread out over a much larger area while most of the nerve endings are concentrated in a more intense area in the clitoris.” The concentration of nerve endings can spell out stronger sensations than even the penis can muster.
8. Its distance from the vaginal opening has everything to do with your orgasm
Not size, but distance. Serra explains that the size and placement of your clitoris can affect sexual pleasure. “The distance between your vaginal opening and the size of your clitoris can greatly impact pleasure during penis-in-vagina intercourse,” she says. For those whose clitoris is further away from the vaginal opening, you may need to experiment with different kinds of stimulation, sex toys, or other positions for a fabulous orgasm. Dr. Gunsallus recommends positions like Missionary, which “can enhance external clitoral stimulation because of greater body rubbing and the angle of the penis inside the vagina.”
9. Penetration isn’t always its favorite game
Speaking of penetration, penis-in-vagina sex sometimes isn’t the best for clitoral stimulation. “Most women can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, because the penis may miss the clitoris entirely,” says Serra. In other words, don’t feel bad if PIV sex isn’t giving you the orgasm of your dreams; experiment with different positions, simultaneous touching, and clitoral sex toys to see what your body prefers.
10. No, your clitoris isn’t “just” for foreplay
Maybe you’ve been in a situation where your partner gives your clitoris enough attention to get you aroused enough for sex, and then forgets about it — or just thinks, “OK, that part’s over.” While clitoral stimulation definitely plays a big role in the beginning stages of arousal, it’s also key to orgasming.
In other words, “external clitoral stimulation is necessary for most women to be able to experience orgasm,” Dr. Gunsallus confirms. In fact, there’s science to back it up. “Research indicates that during heterosexual intercourse, the percentage of men who report experiencing orgasm can be twice as high as the percentage of women,” she explains. That disparity, known as the orgasm gap, emphasizes just how important it is to prioritize clitoral stimulation to give everyone the sexual satisfaction they deserve.
11. You’re not broken if it takes a while
Don’t let anyone tell you that your orgasm should happen quickly — your clitoris is a slow-moving machine. “Just like the penis requires blood flow to engorge, the clitoral complex requires blood to become fully aroused,” Dr. Gunsaullus explains. “This can take time and energy and stimulation around the vulva.”
So how long are we talking? According to Serra, it takes an average of 20 to 25 minutes of stimulation and foreplay before a person with a vulva is fully aroused; some find that they need 45 minutes (or more) of clitoral stimulation before they’re aroused for intercourse.
12. Its arousal patterns change, like the weather
Unlike men, who typically have fairly consistent arousal patterns, clitoral arousal changes according to the time of the month, stress levels, hormonal fluctuation, and even hydration and nutrition levels. “The way you experience pleasure and arousal can change,” Serra explains, and that’s totally normal — so don’t feel bad if you’re not feeling it one night, despite doing all the usual tricks.
13. Your clitoris loves communication
Both our experts emphasized just how important it is to talk to your partner(s) about what gets you and your clitoris going. “Communicate, and have a sense of adventure about it all,” Serra says.
No one’s saying it’s easy, but the pay-off is totally worth it. “Although it can be deeply awkward and vulnerable to explain how you most feel aroused and to directly ask for what you want in terms of clitorial stimulation, all bodies are different and no one can read your mind!” Dr. Gunsallus says. “Sharing your preferences can lead to effective and enjoyable clitoral stimulation, thereby improving the sexual experiences for everyone.”
A version of this article was originally published March 2015.
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